Katy and the Men

During my summer vacation in the woodshed, God taught me some things about submission. Since that time I have continued to ponder how to submit in light of my spiritual gifts; specifically, as they relate to my participation in Sunday school class.

My husband and I attend a couples class, and I am by far the most outspoken woman in the class. In fact, the primary talkers are two other men and me. I always try to comment when I feel led by the Spirit, and I make a conscientious effort to give others an opportunity to speak. I do not monopolize the conversation, and I have been repeatedly assured of this by my very reserved husband and others as well. While I was in the woodshed, during a conversation with one of my friends, she shared that in God’s dealing with her on submission, she had felt directed to refrain from speaking in class in deference to the men. I have thought about it a lot since then, and have at times refrained from speaking because she is in the class, and I wanted to be responsive to her counsel. However, on other occasions I have simply had to speak out of obedience to the Spirit. I recently entertained the idea of attending a women’s class thinking that would be more appropriate for me.

It has been a real dilemma. How does a women with the gifts of wisdom, knowledge, discernment, teaching, and prophecy keep her mouth shut during a Biblical discussion in a group of men and women? Is she supposed to given that she has such gifts? I finally got my answer Monday evening as I resumed reading When Life and Beliefs Collide. The section that spoke to me is in chapter 8, and it is subtitled “Mary and the Men.” First, I will quote the passages of scripture to which the book refers.

John 12:1-8
Jesus, therefore, six days before the Passover, came to Bethany where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead. So they made Him a supper there, and Martha was serving; but Lazarus was one of those reclining at the table with Him. Mary then took a pound of very costly perfume of pure nard, and anointed the feet of Jesus and wiped His feet with her hair; and the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But Judas Iscariot, one of His disciples, who was intending to betray Him, said, "Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and given to poor people?" Now he said this, not because he was concerned about the poor, but because he was a thief, and as he had the money box, he used to pilfer what was put into it. Therefore Jesus said, "Let her alone, so that she may keep it for the day of My burial. For you always have the poor with you, but you do not always have Me."

In Matthew’s account (26:13), he includes Jesus’ words:
“Truly I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this women has done will also be spoken in memory of her.”

Carolyn Custis James suggests that unlike the disciples who still had their hopes set on an earthly kingdom, Mary truly understood the gospel in advance, which prompted her to anoint Jesus in preparation for his burial. Following is the passage from the book that spoke to my heart. It’s lengthy, but I encourage you to read it all.

[Mary’s] actions poke holes in the notion that it is ungodly, unfeminine, insubordinate, or pushy for a woman to take the initiative, Here we see Mary taking he initiative in public, on a theological matter, and in a gathering of male leaders. What is more, she did it right in front of Jesus. And to everyone’s astonishment, Jesus praised her for her actions. Jesus taught a brand of theology that was living and active. It did not lead Mary to withdraw into passivity or wait for a man to do the job; it lead her to accept responsibility, step out, and take action where she saw a need.

Under the umbrella of Jesus' approval, it is clear that Mary's decisive actions did not in any way violate headship. What may come as a surprise is the fact that her actions actually modeled godly submission, the kind of submission Jesus also displayed. She is not mindlessly resigned to what Jesus has purposed to do. That would degrade the meaning of biblical submission and is certainly not the kind of submission Jesus desires of his followers. Christ (the standard of true submission for all Christians) never modeled a passive unthinking submission to his Father, and Mary did not offer that kind of submission to him. She had applied her mind and heart to understand what God required of Jesus and whole heartedly threw herself, as well as her resources, into embracing and promoting Jesus' obedience to the Father. Submission did not reduce her to passivity but actually drew her out to participate in God's will. Her submission to God united her to Jesus, and as a result, she flourished and took the kind of bold action such a moment calls forth. Biblical headship does not ask less of us. It asks more. Headship is not so fragile that women must walk on eggshells for fear of threatening or destroying it. Jesus did not look askance at Mary's behavior nor rebuke her for making the Twelve look bad. To the contrary, he applauded her.

And did she make the men look bad? One would be hard pressed to resist arguing that they looked bad enough on their own. They saw it that way themselves later and wrote with great integrity of their failure that evening. Ironically, the disciples were the ones who violated Christ's headship with their unsubmissive rebellion against the will of God. But the fact is, Mary's actions that evening certainly did expose their failings. Although clearly Mary's intent was not to embarrass or shame the disciples, neither did she show any interest in covering for them. Mary's primary allegiance was to Jesus, not to the disciples. But the outcome was beneficial for them as well. Imagine what she would have denied Jesus and what great harm she would have brought on his disci­ples had she restrained herself to protect their sense of masculine leadership. Their masculinity didn't need to be shielded by her holding back but needed rather to be jolted by her obedience.

This is not to suggest, however, that Mary's actions leave room for women to be offensive, insensitive, or cavalier toward others. Mary didn't elbow her way into the room or behave disrespectfully toward the disciples, although they were in fact offended by her actions. Her conduct was above reproach, filled with grace and graciousness. The fruit of the Spirit must always govern how Christians interact with one another. This underscores the importance of fixing our eyes on Jesus to know him and his ways, so we will reflect him when we step out. Mary was not putting herself forward, fighting for herself, her rights, or her sex. She was fighting for her Lord. The issues involved were much bigger than Mary or the disciples. Her eyes were fixed on Jesus alone. Knowing Jesus prompted her to initiate and act on the truth in a way and with a spirit that would honor him. Her actions were costly and difficult for her, but it was the right thing for her to do, if Jesus' words mean anything at all.

I will speak as I am led by the Spirit as I fight for my Lord.